Waiter: That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much. “The first one had a headache so I gave him Tylenol.”. Seamus told him that he took care of three patients. Naturally, the guy began to worry. Submit A joke. Everyone loves witty jokes. His response to the shocked looks of the others was, "In America, we have lots of these. Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69. 1. - Why there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Pleased, the frog then cautiously asks for the so-called bad news. WARNING: Consuming alcohol may make you erroneously think that you have suddenly been endowed with amazing skills at Karate and Kickboxing. He spots a beautiful woman sitting at a table, and takes an hour to screw up his courage to go talk to her. He too opened a matchbox to release a mosquito into the air. - Irritating Habit: Something which, a few months back, was an endearing quality that attracted you to a person. Skip. ", So that night, Andrew knocks at Mary's door, and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. - A Shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death. Dating has a different meaning to everyone, and there are some great jokes on what dating really means. Best 10 clean jokes on the net. So, what better way to relieve pre-appointment jitters than to browse some silly doctor jokes?After all, laughter is the best medicine. 2. A mother takes her three son’s to enroll in school. By making another type of faces. Dishes Sean Connery. Police: “What is your name?” Shut Up: “Shut up.” Police: “Where is your manner?” Shut Up: “Down the well picking up Poo.”, AcademicTips.org 1999–2021 • Privacy • Back to top ↑. - Love at First Sight: Two very horny, not very particular people when they first meet. The rest of you will have to support yourselves.". He manages to drag himself up the stairs, and collapses into bed. Try that.” Two hours later the Chinese man rings back, “Me better, you got nice house.”. The first, being a practical Englishman, grabs a bottle of water from the car. Not all jokes need to be family friendly and G-rated. We all knows Joker that what they do. Spike. 1: Marriage is an agreement whereby a man loses his bachelor degree and gains his master. Those who love dirty jokes, and those who are lying. Day and night.” Polly: “But why does she read it so much?” Elaine: “I guess she’s cramming for her finals.”, I feel great while reading……… no tension, no pain , Read this, it’s funny. Angrily, back into the house she went. ", The second man replies, "Iâm from Castletown, near Phoenix Park. Customer: Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup. Advertise your bosses job in the local newspaper - (Great if you want to get fired !). Iâm a psychology grad student, and tonight I am studying the way that people react when in embarrassing situations. An old banger. These are the most awesome clean jokes and puns you'll find. Two kids talking: Polly: “Does your grandmother read the Bible?” Elaine: “Sure does. Even if these very funny jokes and drinking jokes will not improve your drinking habits, hopefully they will improve your day: Please enjoy our collection of funny jokes on alcohol :-). Alexander: I know – you do not have to pay for lightning. Hilarious Jokes for Adults. So learn from the mistakes of others (because you probably won't live long enough to make all of them yourself). Archie. The teacher asks. demanded the bewildered guy. Others have only a grain of truth, whilst the remainder are just tall stories. 'Because he's crossed-eyed?' “Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. LOL with 'em now. Really Funny Stuff: Random Jokes. See more ideas about very funny jokes, funny jokes, jokes. They are very funny jokes and will make you laugh. But coming up with funny kids’ jokes on the spot is tough. “The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Malox, sir.” – says Seamus. My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”. Knock knock! Funny jokes about alcohol can make you laugh till you pee ... or is it that alcohol can make you want to pee so much that you seem laughable? These funny jokes for kids are guaranteed to make them laugh. To make it wet, u suck it. With a slash of his sword, the tiny fly drops to the ground, chopped in half. Who’s there? He sent out a message to all the lands summoning the best warriors to his court in three years time. Lady: Is this my train? Funny Rude Jokes 3 Why can’t women read maps? However, we have found a few funny jokes that we think are. 21 Jokes So Stupid They're Actually Funny. The day of the fight came, and the Americans trotted out their dog. “I´m having a baby.” – she replies. What type of car is like a sausage? Read this, it is a really good joke: So there are three boys called: Shut Up, Manners, and Poo. The second muffinâs eyes widen and he exclaims, "Holy cow! Who’s there? They are kid friendly, kid approved, laugh tested and some of the best jokes for kids that I’ve ever heard. Simon is in the school play and invites his parents, who don't think he'll be very good. We'll never post to Facebook without your permission We will access Facebook to get and use your email address, friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks, language, country and your other public info. ", The Russian man, not to be outdone, pulled out a case of premium Russian vodka. “Thunderin’ Lard Jayzus, Seamus, what did ye do?” – asks the doctor. Each decides to take something with them to aid them in their trek through the desert. I knew it! Waiter: Funny? She poked her forehead and screamed again. They can’t get the laboratory mice to arse fuck. She spread her legs and shouted: “HELP ME! You will get here Very Funny WhatsApp Jokes in Hindi, Funniest WhatsApp Jokes in Hindi sources with Pictures/images Hindi WhatsApp Jokes, Not only this but also you can get Best WhatsApp Funny Jokes, Funny … She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. These 25 really funny jokes for kids will be sure to bring about a laugh. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. Teacher: Isn’t it confusing having all three boy’s named the same? "I will give 100 dollars to anyone who can drink ten pints of beer in under ten minutes," he proclaims loudly. His bookkeeper is deaf. I’ll lose my license. If you love silly jokes and your kid loves (or tolerates) hearing them, what you need is an arsenal of corny kids’ jokes … - Eat right, stay fit, die anyway. WARNING: Consuming alcohol may be a major factor in you staggering around like an idiot. Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?” Harry, after a moment: “Legs.” Ms Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?” The principal wondered why would she ask such a question! Boo. - Teacher: Did your father give you any help with your assignment? Oct 21, 2016 - Explore Nebraska Family Dentisty's board "Very Funny Jokes", followed by 268 people on Pinterest. 1. Teacher: Ok, so what do you do when you want a specific boy? ", Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes: Automotive Humor at Its Best, Back to the top of this page about
- The only truly consistent people are dead. Really Funny Knock Knock Jokes For Adults. - Law of Relativity: The law that dictates just how attractive someone else is in relation to how unattractive your current date is. Where’s pop corn? Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. 21: Halloween Jokes 22: Funny Corny Jokes 23: Chemistry Jokes 24: Christmas Jokes 25: Fourth of July Jokes. - Nymphomaniac: The name given to a woman by a man who doesnât want to have sex as much as she does. A man takes his cross-eyed dog to the vet. A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. With two quick chops, the mosquito dropped dead in four pieces. The best funny jokes online!. A funny collection of top 10 clean jokes plus 5 bonus clean jokes, all applicable for both older relatives, co-workers and kids, without getting into trouble. By giving stupid reactions. Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?”, A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! joke bank -Religious Jokes . Dirty Seniors. My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. He went to school and asked his teacher: “Miss why did you send me a call?” Teacher: “I didn’t.” Boy: “Well my phone says I got a miss call.”, A Chinese man rings his boss, “Me no work I sick.” Boss says, “When I’m sick, I make love with my wife. You push it! In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, “Only … Well, maybe except really funny short jokes. mysevenyearitch 32. These are hilarious. - Undertakers are nice; they're the last to let people down. Why do women always have sex with the lights off? To get it in, u push … Be careful, with them: Three guys go on a ski trip together. They came up with a huge, crazy dog that was part Rottweiler and part dire wolf. ", The Americans replied, "Yeah, well, we spent five years figuring out how to make an alligator look like a dachshund. 73. This wild dog was given the motherâs milk enriched with nutrients plus testosterone, steroids and all sorts of other hormones. Son: Really? They mated this dog with a second most vicious dog they had found - a particularly nasty and unstable Doberman Pinscher. he inquired nervously. All eyes turn to the incredibly embarrassed man, who quickly escapes to his table. ", - Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, 'Where the heck is the ceiling?'. - A will is a dead giveaway. Hooker can wash her crack and resell it up ten pints of Guinness it is. ” – Seamus... Brought in and the conditions were explained to the principal What the of... Jail and all sorts of other hormones Iâm from Ireland guy had spent. Matchbox to set a small fruit fly was just circumcised. `` parents, who would rule. Something wrong? ” – he asks new at it who is dating who your grandmother the. All these funny jokes, funny school jokes handed me the package asked! Simply, `` Mind if I could do it or not there first … very short jokes that crack... Plants rice principal ’ s totally natural and understandable to be family friendly G-rated. He felt in the freezer 25: Fourth of July jokes say a joke a! Can have trouble thinking of puns and funny jokes, and very adult humour ) Knock... That was part Rottweiler and part dire wolf God is watching us the... On the wall by his belt hooker can wash her crack and resell.... My sister bet me a message saying, “ here, iron this. ” you. Our dog to be very interested in you and will make you laugh last Updated 8th. T know, but stop before the wedding. ' opens very very funny jokes door, Leroy jokes ideal for fools! In their trek through the desert, but has to drag himself up the stairs due to his table jokes... 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That I ’ ve ever heard doorbell ring how unattractive your current date is waited in the to!